A Cowboy Without A Coat: How A Texas Exile and similar items

What does Michigan look like to a Texan? Why are Michigan's roads SO bad? How tough could a Michigan winter really be? Why do you show me your hand when I ask for directions? And just what the heck is a pasty, anyway? In this hilarious Michigan guidebook, author Wes O'Donnell is a long way from his home state of Texas, and he's constantly baffled by Vernors, Pasties and large bodies of fresh water. He's also humbled by the strength of the Michigan citizen; people who have faced down monumental challenges and staged the most epic comeback story in history. This enhanced edition contains color photos reflecting a higher price. For b/w photos, please choose the standard edition. From the author...I?ve been an exile now in the State of Michigan for three amazing years. What is my most astounding observation so far of the Mitten State? It?s you, the people of Michigan.I?ve lived in dozens of states. I have served in the U.S. military for a decade. I have traveled the world. Never have I met a people as humble, and yet strong and proud as Michiganders. In fact, it was observing your strength in both Muskegon?s and Detroit?s against-all-odds comeback stories that inspired me to write this book. This book is primarily for Texans and Michiganders. If you stumbled upon this book in Ohio or Oklahoma, not to worry; there are plenty of pictures. This is a comedy book. It is cynical. It is irreverent. It is sarcasm at its finest. The military endowed me with a very absurd and dark sense of humor, and for that, I apologize for what you are about to read. Any facts you encounter were attained by the author with absolutely no scientific rigor. Holding me to any type of editorial standard or journalistic integrity would be a mistake. My goal is simply that you are both educated and entertained. If you read this entire book without cracking a smile, please email my publisher so we can promptly give you a refund. That?s right, for the first time in history, a book has a money back guarantee! You simply need to cover our restocking fee of $85.00. For Michiganders, I?ve included a passport for the Republic of Texas in Appendix B. This should get you across the border. If, for some reason you do not see a checkpoint at the Texas border, simply flag down the first Texas State Trooper that you see and show them this book. I?m kind of a big deal down there. For my fellow Texans traveling to Michigan, I?ve included a handy Michigan Glossary in Appendix A. Memorize these terms, otherwise, you?ll have no idea what these Michigan people are saying to you. Seriously, it?s like they invented their own language; it?s bizarre. This book is written in a relaxed, conversational tone; as if I?m sitting in the room with you talking. Occasionally, I may approach you and whisper something in your ear. This book will no doubt give my old English professor from college an aneurysm and produce numerous 1-star reviews on Amazon from the literary elite. This book isn?t for them? It?s for you. On a serious note, thanks for buying this book. For every copy sold, I am donating a meal to the Kid?s Food Basket of West Michigan. Food insecurity is a very real issue and I want to thank you for helping us make a difference. Cheers, Wes O'Donnell Shipped the next day 6/5/24